5 Simple ways to stay TRUE TO YOU in Motherhood

5 Simple ways to stay TRUE TO YOU in Motherhood

This week we have a very special guest post from Nicole “Nix” Stephens berlin-based Holistic Wellness Coach, who supports women in achieving their wellness goals and in designing lives that they love.

“It’s no secret or surprise that our lives change enormously after having children. Spontaneity flies out the door with that tiny new breath and suddenly a trip to the movies with your other half requires a good week’s planning. Can you afford the babysitter? Can you trust the babysitter? Can you actually be OK with being away for 2 hours? And before you know it, the person you were before your wee one arrived feels so far removed from where you are now. Our worlds are shaken in strange and wonderful ways when babies arrive and I know that I personally missed who I used to be a great deal. Sure, there will be parts of yourself that you will be glad to have left behind and we all know how much you love your little one and being a Mama. But it’s important to stay true to who we know ourselves to be underneath the nursing bras and conversations about our cervixes in order to be happy. Here are 5 fast and easy ways to connect with who you were before becoming a Mother and especially, who you want to become next.

Connect with your breath:

Mindfulness is THE buzzword in the Self-Help circles and it is becoming more mainstream everyday. Google and many other massive companies have woken up to the enormous power of meditation for the purposes of reducing stress and enhancing employee’s lives. It takes next to no time at all to focus your attention on your breathing and create an intention to relax. Three slow, focused breaths can be transformational. Just try it. For those of you who want a deeper practice, try downloading the App called “Headspace”. It guides you through a simple daily (10 minute!) meditation and it just might change your life.

Connect with your body:

Your body is the most incredible measuring device. It tells you when you need rest, food, water and warmth. It also tells you what you need in terms of nourishment and movement. One great way to connect with yourself is to tap into your body and ask yourself this question: “What do I love to eat?” Work out which whole foods have always felt like a celebration to you? Eat those and ENJOY them. For me it’s gluten free veggie pizza and a glass of crisp white wine on a Friday evening. God I love that.

In terms of exercise and moving your body, ask yourself “which forms of exercise do I love?” I have always loved to swim. I feel powerful and clear in the water. Perhaps for you it has always been running or dancing. Whatever your movement preference is…do that. If your child is little it may take some planning like joining a gym with childcare, or trading in your current stroller for one that can handle a jog, but it’s doable. Connecting with your body in celebration with regards to nourishment and movement are two of the most powerful ways to connect with the True You.

Connect with a friend:

Calling up an old friend who doesn’t have children after you have become a mother can be fantastic, especially if you don’t expect them to understand motherhood. Think of someone who always made you feel great about yourself and about life and who makes you laugh. Give them a call and tell them that you are calling because you DON’T want to talk about being a mother. This doesn’t mean you don’t love being a Mum, it simply means you are more than just a Mum. Keep it light and let the chat be about everything else. People who have known us through the ages have this wonderful way of reminding us of the parts of ourselves that we forget and need to connect with once in a while.

Connect with your music:

Music is one of the most fun and simplest ways to connect with your self. The music that you loved before Twinkle Twinkle Little Star and Barney arrived is always there, waiting for you to tap in. It’s so great because it’s so quick and easy to play a song from your phone, ipad, computer (YouTube is my favourite for this). Just think of a song or artist you used to love and play it. Before you know it you’ll be dancing, smiling, sobbing, head banging, playing air guitar…whatever you like best. Music moves us instantly so try it. Your kids will love having a dance with you! Introduce them to the music that you love.

Connect with your future:

Book reading will come again. As will eating with two hands and having an uninterrupted conversation with another adult. Plan for it, dream of it. Create your future now. Start a Pinterest board named “Me Next” and paste places, clothes, books, food…anything that excites you. Start dreaming of and planning for ‘Her’. Ask yourself, “what do I want next?” so that every moment of your “me time” is filled with something that excites you. Even if it’s 5 minutes stolen here and there. This is not about missing out on the time you have with your children. The time you have with your little ones is precious. This is about carving out time for yourself and allowing that to be just as precious – and making sure it is well spent when you have it. I often need to remind my clients that “you cannot pour from an empty cup”. Take every tiny moment possible to recharge your inner battery and watch how your world lights up and transforms.”

Nix Stephens is a Holistic Wellness Coach who supports women in achieving their wellness goals and in designing lives that they love.

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